The woman he raped was saved from his attack by another man, a gay rapist who raped the rapist. The man, named by the couple to protect his identity, recorded the incident for a viral video that has already gone global. The couple, who have two adopted sons and a 5-year-old foster daughter, say they are now overwhelmed with hateful messages online and have been left feeling powerless. They hope that their story will help combat the “normalization” of sexism and racism in society, and encourage others to speak out against such prejudice.
Getting back into touch with your body and feelings can be scary following sexual trauma. But it’s important to know that the intense feelings are normal, and that avoiding them will do more harm than good. Having a loving support system can also be helpful.
In a country where homophobia is high, it can be difficult for some men to report their assaults, especially if they believe that they deserved it or were less harmed because of their sexual orientation. Many also fear disbelief and intolerance from police and medical staff. This is particularly the case for those who experience “date rape,” in which a man spikes someone’s drink before attacking them.
Unlike women, who tend to share their experiences of assault and abuse with others, men rarely do so. This may be because they feel that they will be blamed, laughed at, or dismissed as a “manly” person, even by people who are close to them. It can also be because they are scared of the impact that talking about their assault will have on their children.