June 12, 2024

What Are Some Turn Ons and Turn Offs in a Relationship?

When navigating the complex game of love and relationships, knowing the biggest turn-ons and turn-offs for men and women can make all the difference. Whether you’re new to dating or have been in a relationship for years, this knowledge can either give you a leg up in attracting a partner or enhance your existing relationship.

Turn-ons for Women:


Generous acts, whether through time, effort, or resources, are highly appreciated by women.

Good Kissing Skills

Being a good kisser is essential, as it sets a positive tone for physical intimacy.

Humor and a Nice Smile

A good sense of humor and a pleasant smile can be very attractive.

Chivalry and Politeness

Traditional manners such as holding doors open and saying 'please' and 'thank you' go a long way.


Self-assuredness can be very appealing.

Helping with Housework

Participating in household chores is seen as a supportive and equal partnership gesture.

Physical Affection

Playing with her hair or giving massages can be great turn-ons.

Good Grooming and Fashion Sense

Taking care of one's appearance is attractive.

Active Listening

Women appreciate when they feel heard and understood.


Intellectual conversations and demonstrating knowledge can be alluring.

Turn-offs for Women:

Poor Footwear Taste

Shoes can be a significant make-or-break item.

Pompous and Cocky Behavior

Arrogance is generally seen as highly unattractive.

Lack of Manscaping and Being Uncircumcised

Personal grooming is important, and being uncircumcised can be a turn-off for some women.

Lack of Intelligence

Women generally prefer not to be with someone they perceive as unintelligent.


Self-centered behavior is a major negative.

Overly Aggressive During Sex

Respect in physical intimacy is crucial.

Bad Driving

Poor driving skills can be off-putting.

Being a Pushover

Women typically don’t appreciate men who can’t stand up for themselves.

Insecurity or Oversensitivity

Confidence is preferred over insecurity or being overly sensitive.

Being Boring

Lack of excitement or enthusiasm can lead to disinterest.

Turn-ons for Men:

The Smell of Food Cooking

A home filled with pleasant food aromas can be very enticing to men.

Handiness with Tools

Being proficient with tools can be attractive.

Wearing Matching Lingerie

Men appreciate the effort put into coordinating intimate wear.

Doing Yoga

Flexibility and athleticism can be appealing.

Wearing Red

The color red is often associated with attraction.

Telling Dirty Jokes

A good sense of humor, including risque jokes, can be a turn-on.

Good Driving Skills

Competence behind the wheel is attractive.

Making First Contact

Showing initiative can be very appealing.

Feeling Appreciated

Men appreciate recognition and gratitude from their partners.

Physical Affection

Actions like playing with his hair or showing affection are well-regarded.

Turn-offs for Men:

Long Fingernails

This can be seen as impractical or off-putting.

Nagging or Excessive Talking

Constant criticism or overly talkative behavior is a major turn-off.

Poor Hygiene

Basic cleanliness is crucial.

Eating with Your Mouth Open

Table manners are important.

Flirting with Other Men

This behavior can incite jealousy and mistrust.

Being Mean or Bitchy

Unkind behavior is generally seen as very unattractive.

Overpowering Perfume

Subtlety in fragrance is preferred.

Discussing Ex-boyfriends

Bringing up past relationships can be uncomfortable and unappealing.

Baby Talk and Public Pet Names

Public displays of baby talk or pet names can feel embarrassing.

Being Too Handsy in Public

Inappropriate public displays of affection can be uncomfortable.

Ultimately, understanding what turns people on or off helps in navigating romantic relationships more effectively. These insights, while not exhaustive, provide a useful starting point for better communication and more fulfilling relationships. How well do you rate on the turn-on/turn-off scale? Use this guide to assess and maybe even improve your approach to love and relationships.

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