January 31, 2024

How to Tell My Mom Im Gay

It can feel like a big deal to tell someone you love that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Whether it’s family or friends, the way that people react can have a major impact on your life. Ultimately you will decide when, how and to whom to come out.

It’s important to find a time when your parent can fully focus on what you are telling them. Picking a place that feels comfortable, such as your living room, is also a good idea. You want them to be able to listen and hear you, not distracted by other things going on in their life.

If you are worried about your parent’s reaction, remember that it is completely normal for them to be surprised and have a difficult time adjusting. They may go through several emotional stages including shock, denial, expression of feelings, personal decision-making and true acceptance. It’s not your fault if they are upset at first, especially if they believe that homosexuality is a sin or a disease and have been told so by others in the past.

The main thing is to try and understand their perspective and know that you love them no matter what. Then you can work to create a more positive relationship with them in the future. If you have siblings who are more accepting of you, they can also be helpful allies for this discussion. If you’re concerned that your parent will take drastic measures such as threatening to harm you or evicting you, it’s a good idea to have back-up plans including researching local LGBTQ shelters and identifying friends and adults that you can reach out to for support.


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