January 31, 2024

How to Tell My Mom I'm Gay

Some parents take months or even years to come to a place of acceptance, so it’s important to remember that when you tell your mother, she might not react well at first. You might find that she’s in denial, angry, sad, or confused, but it’s best to just let her process it as best she can before moving on. It’s also a good idea to have a back-up plan for if things don’t go well—think about what you might do if you need to leave home or live on your own. Find local LGBTQ shelters and make sure you know how much money you need saved and who you can reach out to for emotional support.

Choose how, when and where to tell them. You can call them, text or email them, but it’s important that you choose a time when they will have your full attention. It’s also helpful to decide if you want to have a supportive friend present when you do the talk.

You can even write down what you want to say beforehand, which can be helpful to get your thoughts straight and prevent you from forgetting anything. It’s okay if they have questions; it can be very hard to accept something that contradicts your beliefs, but be prepared to answer them calmly and honestly. It’s also a good idea not to share your coming out story with people who don’t know you very well, as it might put them in an uncomfortable position.

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