I have a brother who is homosexual and my parents consider it a secret that they want to keep from everyone. They think that he could be in danger from people who might know about it and don’t want him to be hurt. What they don’t realise is that they are doing him a great deal of harm by not telling him. He is not happy as he feels that he is being held back and prevented from being the person he wants to be. How can I tell my family im gay so that they will not continue to do him harm?
This is an awful situation. Many families struggle with this type of issue and you will have to be prepared for a range of responses, from support and understanding through to anger and hatred. It may be that you need to discuss the issue with a neutral party to help your parents understand how damaging their reactions are. It is also worth bearing in mind that it is possible for family members to experience homophobia, which can manifest as physical violence or verbal bullying. You should consider discussing your safety plans with your brother in case this is an issue for him.
The key thing to remember is that your sexuality is part of you and it cannot be changed, regardless of what your parents do or say. You need to be clear in your own mind about this, and this can often help those who love you to accept the truth. You need to decide how you will approach the situation and choose a time and place to do this, either in person or over the phone or by email/text message. Make sure that you have a backup plan for if the conversation does not go well and have any books, pamphlets or other resources that you might need with you.