As with all long-term relationships, happy gay couples face a range of challenges and rewards. Just as with straight couples, the success of a gay relationship often depends on trust, respect, commitment, communication and intimacy.
Gay men also face specific issues related to sexual relationships, including gender identity, sex preferences, monogamy and time management. For example, the fact that most gay men earn more than their partners can create tension in some relationships because it reinforces society’s expectations of male dominance and hierarchy. This can especially be a challenge when one partner is older and/or higher earning than the other.
To avoid this, it’s important for tops and bottoms to communicate openly, respectfully and honestly about their desires, needs and wants. This can help both parties to feel safe and able to explore their own sexual fantasies, while remaining faithful to their commitment to each other.
It’s also important to start penetration slowly and carefully. This will reduce the risk of discomfort and pain, and it can also be more pleasurable for both tops and bottoms. You can use lube and/or toys to help make penetration easier for both of you. For example, a cock ring or vibrator can be very stimulating for the top. And for the bottom, a pillow under their butt can raise their asshole up for easy access. For anal sex, try licking and kissing his cock while he’s laying down, and then moving your tongue down towards his perineum and anal canal.