June 13, 2024

How to Look Gay as a Femme: Embrace Your True Identity

r/actuallesbians is a subreddit designed to be a welcoming and inclusive space for a diverse group of people. The community explicitly welcomes cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, bi-curious individuals, dykes, butches, femmes, birls, bois, aces, and anyone in the LGBT+ community. This inclusivity is significant because it fosters a supportive environment where individuals can feel free to join regardless of their specific identity within the LGBT+ spectrum.

Purpose and Atmosphere

The subreddit is not militant or exclusive. Instead, it aims to create a supportive environment where members can share personal experiences, advice, and resources. This approach encourages individuals to participate without the fear of judgment and helps build a strong sense of belonging within the community.


While the community centers on lesbians, it is not limited to them. Allies and other queer community members are also welcome, making r/actuallesbians a unique and inclusive platform that fosters broad and meaningful interactions.

"Bibliothèque Chiroux - Rayonnages femmes, féminisme, sexualités, LGBT+," by Anne Jea. is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/.

Subreddit Features

r/actuallesbians provides a platform for members to engage in a variety of discussions related to sexuality, gender, and relationships. Topics can range widely, including sharing personal narratives, seeking relationship advice, and discussing broader LGBT+ issues. The subreddit also showcases member activity levels, promoting engagement and interaction among users.

Safe Space for Conversations

One of the defining aspects of r/actuallesbians is its atmosphere of safety and inclusivity. Members are encouraged to openly discuss their experiences and challenges without fear of criticism or rejection. This sense of security is vital for those who may feel marginalized or isolated in other areas of life.

Diverse Topics and Engagement

Discussions on r/actuallesbians cover a wide range of topics. Members often engage in conversations about personal growth, relationship dynamics, and evolving identities. This diversity in topics allows for a rich tapestry of experiences and perspectives, making the community a vibrant place for sharing and learning.

"Fabulously Femme" by Kaptain Kobold is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/.

Inclusivity Beyond Labels

The community's approach to inclusivity extends beyond traditional labels. While terms like dykes, butches, and femmes are embraced, there's also a significant emphasis on fluidity and openness. This perspective allows for evolving identities and supports personal growth among members, promoting an environment where everyone can express their true selves.

Engagement and Support

r/actuallesbians works to build a sense of community among users who might feel isolated or marginalized elsewhere. The supportive network offered by the subreddit can be a practical and emotional lifeline for many, providing advice, solidarity, and companionship.

By highlighting the inclusive and welcoming nature of r/actuallesbians, this blog post underscores the importance of having safe, non-judgmental spaces where members of the LGBT+ community can interact, share, and support one another. The subreddit stands out as a platform that champions diversity and fosters a genuine sense of belonging, which is essential for the well-being and growth of its members.

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