It's not easy dating as a gay man. Whether you're a young, fresh-faced twink who hits the club scene like Timothee Chalamet in Call Me By Your Name or an older, more musclebound guy with a penchant for chicken wings and shakes, finding love can be a real challenge. But it doesn't have to be. The right mindset and a few smart guidelines can help you find your plus one.
Prejudice - Especially in the gay community, many guys hold prejudicial views about minorities that can affect their own dating lives and experiences. Whether it's internalized homophobia, racism, ageism, HIV phobia, sexism, ableism, or any other form of hate or prejudice, a guy who shows prejudice or fear-based traits can be extremely off-putting. It's also worth considering how he treats people in general, including wait staff and cashiers.
Trauma/PTSD - It's not uncommon for guys to have actual PTSD symptoms or something close. Some of these include violent crimes, accidents, sexual abuse/incest, or combat experiences, and can have a major impact on their life. It's important to remember that your date might be dealing with these kinds of issues and it would be best to avoid a toxic relationship.
A recent r/askgaybros Reddit thread asked dudes what dating advice they'd give their younger selves, and some of the responses were as wise as it gets. Here are some of the highlights: