February 1, 2024

How to Date a Gay Man

Gay men often have difficulty defining “dating,” and how serious or committed it should be. Some men use the term for sex-laden situationships, casual bone buddies, or FWBs; others reserve it for dynamics with more intimacy and commitment. Figuring out what you’re wanting from a relationship can help you find the right guy, and set realistic expectations.

Prioritizing safety before and during dating is important for LGBTQ+ people. Whether it’s meeting someone at a gay bar, or using apps like Grindr, ensuring your safety is essential. This includes letting friends know where you’re going on dates and what time to expect you back; and not giving away your personal information publicly.

It’s common for gay men to have types or “preferences.” However, it’s important not to exclude guys just because they don’t fit what you’re used to. There may be other ways to connect with them, and opening yourself up to new possibilities could broaden your options for love.

It’s also essential for gay men to deconstruct “made up” conventions about age disparity in relationships. Whether it’s discussing their sexual sex life separate from heteronormative expectations, or the role of older partners as financial providers in their younger partner’s lives, redefining this paradigm is key to healthy gay relationships. This can be a challenging area for couples to discuss, and can result in the need for individual and/or couple therapy. Schedule a free 15-minute call to learn how our therapists can support your LGBTQ+ relationship goals.


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