February 1, 2024

How to Be a Good Gay Bottom

Bottoming isn’t for everyone, and if you’re new to it, it might feel intimidating or scary. It doesn’t have to be. With a little basic preparation, nearly anyone can be a good gay bottom.

There are so many misconceptions about what it takes to be a bottom, fueled in part by faulty queer sex education and porn that ignores basic preparation. It’s important to dispel these misconceptions, as they can lead to painful situations and unhappy partners.

The biggest misconception is that a bottom has to be someone who “likes being dominated.” It’s true that some men choose to top and stick to it, but it’s also just as possible to enjoy both roles. Bottoms come in all shapes and sizes, from big beefy daddies to hyper-masculine military dudes. They can be younger or older, and they can have all kinds of body hair.

Getting ready to be a bottom starts in your head. A lot of things influence how comfortable and pleasurable bottoming is, including your body’s response to sex and the type of stimulation you prefer. Your headspace, stress levels, environment and chemistry with your partner(s) all play a role as well.

It’s also important to prepare your body for the physical challenge of anal sex. It might hurt on your first few attempts, but that’s because the anal walls are expanding to make room for a penis or dildo. You can help ease the pain by stretching out your anal sphincter with hands or fingers before you try bottoming.


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