February 1, 2024

How Do I Tell My Mom I'm Gay?

If you want to tell your parents that you are LGBTQ, remember that it’s not always a big, movie moment. You may drop hints, or even make it clear in a casual conversation. This is a very common way to come out to your parents, and it can be less intimidating for them than a sudden “I’m gay” announcement. It’s also a good way to gauge their reactions before telling them in person.

If they don’t react negatively, you can use that information as a basis to talk more with them about your sexuality and how it fits into who you are as a person. The important thing is that they know and understand your sexuality as a part of you, not the only thing that defines you.

Your mother may be shocked, upset, or angry. She may feel guilt or worry for your safety. She might blame herself for not having been more open to this aspect of you earlier. Those are all real feelings and she needs time to process them.

It’s important to be patient and kind with your mom as she works through those emotions. It’s also important to remind yourself that her reaction is not your fault, and it doesn’t have any bearing on whether you can continue to love and support her as her daughter. Remember that your parents love you, no matter what they think of you or how they react to you being LGBTQ.

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