January 31, 2024

How Do I Know If My Friend is Gay?

A person who is sexually or romantically attracted to people of the same sex.

Whether you suspect your friend is gay or not, it's important to respect their privacy. They may have good reasons to keep it a secret, including that they don't feel ready to tell everyone yet or that their family or friends might be violently homophobic.

The best way to know is to get to know them as a person. If they are open to talking about their orientation, listen attentively and respectfully. They might share things with you that are very personal and sensitive, but they should be able to trust you not to gossip or out them in any way.

A person can be gay without being flamboyant or loudly pro-gay, so don't judge them based on how they dress or talk. The same goes for their body shape and features: a big, muscular build does not necessarily mean they are gay, nor does a feminine walk or "effeminate" ways of speaking.

They might joke about being gay, watch gay porn or other shows, and/or hang out with the LGBTQ community. If they like you more than other boys, act flirty or go out of their way to be nice to you, it could be a sign that they are interested in you as more than a friend. If they are comfortable, they might even come out to you. It might take a while, though.

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