Gay men who marry women often feel trapped. They keep a secret about themselves, one they have guarded for many years – possibly from childhood - and fear that if they come out they will be harshly judged, shunned, or even abandoned by their wives, children, friends and family. They may even believe that if they renounce their homosexuality they can be straight. Sadly, this is not true. The truth is that a homosexual person is gay no matter what their gender expression may be at any given time.
If you suspect your husband is gay, the first thing to do is listen to his words and actions. He may make homophobic statements and he might not be as affectionate towards you as he used to be. You may notice that he is spending more time in his hair and shaving and less time with you. He might start to wear men's clothing and he might watch porn movies that have gay male scenes. He might become irritable or depressed and begin to lose weight. He might also have a sudden interest in working out at the gym and start to spend more money on personal grooming products and services.
In addition, you might be able to tell your husband is gay by paying attention to his behavior and how he treats other men. For example, he might be envious of other gay couples who are in open relationships or he might show an increased interest in men who are his co-workers or acquaintances. He might also be jealous of heterosexual women who have a good relationship with their boyfriends and husbands.